smile
by thesweetsummerchilde
Summary: "so smile. smile, alice. my most precious Alice!" he will do anything, anything at all, to see that warm smile again. even if that means losing her. - ozlice


**Rated: T for blood, kissing and angst.**

**Summary: **"So smile... Smile, Alice... My most precious Alice...!"

He will do anything, anything at all, to see her smile.

Even if that means losing her.

**Author's Note: **This is my first fanfic ever after a year and a half reading so many fanfic! So please, review? Constructive criticism? So I can improve? Please? :3

Oh, and this fanfic takes place in Retrace LXXV: Alone. Just saying to make sense.

**Disclaimer: The amazing Pandora Hearts isn't mine, how sad. It belongs to Jun-sensei.**

* * *

The gun was triggered by Gil, which none of them had ever even _imagined_ of in their wildest dreams, let alone think of it.

The silver bullet flew forward, mercilessly, destroying everything in its way. Soundlessly, it hit his shoulder, drilled through him to continue its journey. Blood splashed out and veins broke, harmonized into their own creepy rhythm. In the rain sound, they were nothing but silent scream for help, from a hopeless soul.

The small figure fell down, making no sound as he collapsed on the green grass.

Those emerald eyes were wide open, observing everything. They remained still, as the battle went on around him. Hollow. Blank. Soulless.

He didn't get up - He didn't even try to. In dim light, that heart-broken figure curled up slightly. His palm parted open. Cold rain streamed down it, soaking his body. He didn't even bother to move a muscle.

_There was nothing in your hands, since the beginning.  
__You're just a Chain, Oz._

_Every person you ever love, care for and protect, everything you had... Is just fake.  
__Don't... ever forget this._

The whisper in the back of his mind reverberated in his eardrums. Oz sighed heavily.

Right. He is indeed a Chain. Oz the B-Rabbit.

But that, was not the reason for his problem. He brought trouble to everyone, even when he wasn't aware of his true identity.

He was partially responsible for the Tragedy of the Sablier.

He gave Jack Lacie's memories, which turned out to be the motivation, the final push for Jack Vessalius to started that horrible event.

One hundred years ago many people died _because of_ him, Oz.

After one hundred years, till now, many people died _for _him.

Jack was right. He was a destroyer, be or not be the B-Rabbit.

It was himself that was the problem, him that created this whole tragedy, him, him, him, every fibre of his being...

A warm water drop fell down his cheek. The trail it left tickled in his skin.

"Oz!"

An urgent call caught his attention.

Those green orbs half opened. Carved on them were the crimson red coat, and the chocolate brown hair.

Her violet eyes widened in horror and concern:

"Oz!"

_That look..._

"Oz, you stupid manservant! What do you think you are doing?!" Her scream rang in the air.

From where he was, Oz could see a small crystal sparkled in the corner of her eye.

The footsteps were louder and louder as she approached him.

His lips parted into a small smile.

_Alice... You're safe and sound._

A tiny spark was lit in his heart.

The look in her eyes washed away that little happiness.

It reminded him of something he did NOT want to. In his mind it played over and over again, the picture of her teary eyes, her determined look, and the silver scissors...

"I will not let anybody takes what is mine!"

"I will protect you with my own hands!"

_Alice..._

_Alice... Dancing in the rain..._

_Alice... With a happy smile on her face..._

_Alice..._

Oz leaned up slowly. The salty water ran down his face, and he just didn't know how to stop it... He just couldn't stop it.

"Oz..." - She panted.

Her silky hair and her red coat trailed down in the rain. Water fell down her face, slowly traced down her face, her jawline, her cheeks.

A raindrop must have fell on his eyes, as they started to get hot and blurry.

"Alice..."

Her smile... He couldn't see it...

Her warm and cheerful, lively spirit... He could sense it no more...

It was all his fault, his fault, his fault,...

It was him that one hundred year ago, she died.

It was him, that her smile wasn't as happy, as they were. Him, the cause of her trouble.

The very one responsible for her tears, and death, and everything.

Alice...

A hot mess chokes in his throat, leaving a bitter aftertaste.

She tilted her head, the concerned look in her eyes made his heart ached:

"Oz, are you... OK?"

He just wanted to reassure her, to wrap his arms around her small frame and protect her...His Alice...

His lips quirked up.

Gently, he placed his lips on her.

That was a quick kiss, but he could remember all too well that she tasted like teardop and sugar. Both happy and sad side of a life, at he would normally put it.

"Oz, why are you-"

His hands ran down her face, wiping the hot tears away.

As he touched them, something in him was broken.

Alice... cried because of him?

"Of course." - A small voice whispered in his mind - "It was always you..."

He couldn't even deny that. The burning in his chest tightened his heart. He just couldn't breath, just gasped for air...

As instinct, he reached out to make sure she was still there, but stopped midway.

_You shouldn't touch her..._

_You would only make her cry..._

"Every person you ever love, care for and protect, everything you had... Is just fake."

"Don't... ever forget that."

"How can you love anybody?"

_I know..._

"You destroyed everything!"

_I get it..._

_I just, should hurt her no more..._

"Alice..."

He wanted it to be a reassuring smile, but again all it was was just a pathetic twist.

_Dammit, water, don't stream down my face._

_I don't want to be weak._

_I want to be strong, to protect her._

_To protect her no matter what._

"I'm just too clumsy and useless... to be her knight in shining armour.

But I will always look for her

To see that in the end, where the light would radiate

Until then, I will always be next to her!"

_I will always be next to you..._

_No._

_That isn't right._

_That doesn't sound right_

_No. I will always protect you._

_Even if that means I have to lose you._

_"_Alice

I loved to see you smile...

Your presence felt so warm...

And you were more important than anyone and anything else...

I wanted to protect you...

I really wanted to..."

The corner of his eyes suddenly became wet.

The words, every of them hurt his soul, as they came down...

"Alice..."

_Forgive me, Alice._

_"_You don't have to be next to me anymore..."

Her violet eyes widened, and immediately, the figure started to fade away, into many yellow sparks

"Oz..."

He touched her gloved hand gently.

"No, O-"

Her word was cut short.

The being name Alice had disappeared, turned into many sunshine pieces in the air.

Broken shards slowly spun around him, shining its faint golden lights in the thick, moist atmostphere.

Carefully, he held out his hands.

Sorrow flooded his eyes

He gave himself a smile, though he couldn't stop the tear from falling down, or the bitterness inside him that was ready to burst out every second

"Everything, everything that hurts you, that makes you cry

I will destroy them all."

_I will always protect you._

_Even if that means I have to lose you._

"So smile...

Smile, Alice...

My most precious Alice...!"


End file.
